Friday, June 20, 2003

Good Lord, it's been nearly a month since I prattled...Still that last one was long, so it should have lasted.

I was cleaning out my Yahoo Sent Mail folder when I ran across the following little gem...It was sent to my friends and family last November, before the invasion on Iraq and the upcoming Iran and Syria sequels, so I thought I'd archive it here instead of doing some actual writing...God, I'm Lazy.

November 19, 2002

It was a little weird.

It was as though I heard Darth Vader (the Original, not that punk ass in Attack of the Clones) saying " Congratulations Mike, You’ve officially crossed over to the Dark Side". So I looked up and I realized that I’m sitting outside of a Starbucks (Something I never do…Hell I rarely even drink coffee anymore…and I know a bunch of you who knew me when are screaming "What?" at that one), on a warm bright afternoon in the San Fernando Valley sipping a Caramel Frappacinno and watching the passing parade. I’m scrawling in one of a seemingly endless series of new blank hardcover books, which I purchase with the best of intentions to fill it full of deathless prose and undying artwork, and which will inevitably wind up collecting dust on some bookshelf in my apartment. Beside me is a twitchy guy who’s younger than I am, and yet trying to con some green teenager in a Jimi Hendrix T Shirt that he (Twitchy) was an intimate of the Guitar God’s AND was at Woodstock to boot. The kid, of course, is lapping it all up because it’s the kind of story that he wants to believe. And here’s me doing my writer thing and taking surreptitious notes, all artsy–like and I think, " This is it. There is now a big neon sign over my head with the words ‘Pretentious Butthole’ spelled out in glowing red letters, with an animated arrow pointing to the top of my LA Dodgers cap. I have officially gone Hollywood"

It is perhaps fitting then that upon my arrival home I got an envelope from the INS containing the former Holy Grail for Canadian Actors…An American Green Card…I say former because with "Runaway" production and all, the old Green Card doesn’t mean as much as it used to. The Most important thing is that I am now allowed to travel back to the Hinterland should I so choose. ( which of course reiterates the fact that in Comedy, timing is everything. 2 weeks before my Dad suffered a heart attack, and I couldn’t go see him because I didn’t have said piece of plastic and it happened the week of my interview to get said magic piece of plastic, and by the time I did have it , everyone was telling me it’s okay, don’t come there’s nothing you can do. After a triple bypass Dad’s fine now…Thank God for the Canadian Health Care System)

I figured that some of you who might have been mildly curious as to "whatever happened to what’s his name, you know, the one who left" And since this is the end of a chapter, so to speak, I figured I would take this opportunity to catch you up. Those of you who remember, that is. Or to put it another way…

Hi, my name’s Mike Hiller. Remember me? I used to have something to do with your lives at one point in time. I know it ‘s been a while, but hey, life happens…sometimes with a vengeance.

The last year or so has been interesting in the Chinese curse sense. Aside from the Green Card and Dad, I finished my first novel "The Great Heroes League" and the response thus far has been underwhelming. Of course I expect more when I send out the next volley of sample chapters…I also expect to find Air Bacon from flying pigs at the local Ralph’s Supermarket.

I also became a stepfather of sorts. I prefer the term Stepmonster, because then less is expected of me and because I have to be the bad guy more often than not. I didn’t ask for the job, It was sort of forced on all of us.

Carol has a child from a previous marriage. Child is and isn’t the proper term. Franklin’s a 24-year-old schizophrenic, who exacerbated the condition through years of drug and alcohol abuse in an attempt to self-medicate. His father Sam is 75 years old and in complete denial about his son’s condition, despite warnings (From me and Carol among others) that the condition was escalating (He felt he was the New Messiah at one point) and that Franklin would need to be declared incompetent and hospitalized. As a result Franklin went unmedicated for the better part of a year. He was also a dedicated pot smoker, which is one of the worst drugs a schizophrenic can do. It’s been known to trigger bad episodes.

Last January Franklin had a major psychotic break, which involved. an assault on a friend and killing his own dog, He then permanently blinded himself, detaching both retinas.

Needless to say Carol was devastated. Franklin was hospitalized for nearly 2 months. Surgery could not restore his sight, and it’s been difficult finding the right combination of medications that don’t make him catatonic or hyper.

It looked as if there would be more opportunities for rehabilitation up here in LA than in San Diego, so I agreed that Franklin could move in with us till a placement could be found. Besides the Medicare system had determined that he had been in hospital long enough ( although the psychiatrists disagreed and thought he was still deeply psychotic) Also his father, who is wealthy, didn’t want to pay for anymore time, because he didn’t like the "woman doctor" who was in charge of his son’s care (pity he hadn’t taken more of an interest a couple of months earlier).

So last April, Franklin moved into our small 2 bedroom apartment. It was only supposed to be for a couple of weeks until he was in a residential care program. But a funny thing happened. The Mental Health people were not equipped to handle a blind person, and neither Carol nor Sam liked the facilities they saw. The Braille Institute would not accept him for rehab and training because they viewed his schizophrenia, despite his medication, as a "potential threat to the other clients". In the meantime guess who became his primary caregiver? One hint: He’s typing to you. I had only just been given my work permit, and hadn’t had chance to find a job before this happened.

And so here I am 8 months later. Babysitter for a Blind Schizophrenic Vegan Messianic Jewish Buddhist, who writes vegetarian protest songs, all of which have the same chord progression and are 10 minutes long. Plus I have his Father coming by, who may or may not have Alzheimers (I vote does), and is so unreliable that Carol( who has to work) and I rarely get a break or any time alone together., because Franklin can’t be left by himself.

On the positive side, like I said, I finished my book last year, and have been shopping it around to agents, with no response so far, but we live in hope. I designed the CD package for Christine Lavin’s CD "The Subway Series" and it’s fun to go into a music store and see my work on the racks. I designed the T Shirts for The April Winchell Show Aids Walk Team, and we raised 12, 000 dollars for AIDS related charities in LA. (BTW April Winchell is Paul Winchell’s daughter and has a radio show that you can hear online. She’s hysterically funny and a great person.

The Elections here weren’t much fun. I’m not allowed to vote yet, so don’t blame me. Besides I’ve become convinced that Democracy has become as much of a myth in the USA as Communism was in The Soviet Union before the fall.

I don’t know about Ginsberg, but I saw the best minds of my generation turn to Tapioca pudding when a couple of airplanes took a header into a big symbol of capitalism on a conveniently media friendly date. If there were ever any evidence needed for the dumbing down of North America, it was the reaction to this event. Or maybe it’s not that we’re dumber. Maybe it ‘s just easier to believe what’s been said, despite all available evidence to the contrary. Perhaps there’s a certain comfort in knowing that what comes over the airwaves and calls itself news is at best incomplete and, at worst, out and out lies. If that’s your story and you’re sticking to it, more power to ya…We don’t wanna know anymore.

Ginsberg and Kerouac had the Beat Generation to whom life was a matter of rhythm, place, and attitude. But we are not part of them. We are not an alphabet generation, X or Y, convenient for demographic placement. Neither are we boomers, for that also divides us by age, and what’s going on defies classification into nifty subcategories. It cuts across race, religion, sex, and the majority of income levels. We are the real majority of the world. We are the ones that get it in the neck on a regular basis. We are the Beaten Generation…

We rolled over a long time ago because it was easier. Let’s face it, the majority of us just want to be left alone. The stress of real life, the one we deal with every day, is enough to tie us into pretzels. We dread the phone ringing. We jump at a knock on the door. We say silent prayers before opening the mailbox.

And we take it.

One of the things that I used to envy about this country was its ability to scream if there was a perceived wrong going on. (The Viet Nam War, Civil Rights, Watergate, and Rodney King …all the way back to Taxation without Representation). But that doesn’t happen anymore. The rise of "America Love it, or leave it" has been a virus in its spread since 9/11. Dissent has been effectively marginalized to the point where it is the product of Liberal Looneys, Communists, or Collaborators…The word treason gets thrown around pretty loosely too…

That’s just the beginning, though. Somewhere along the line the constitution became flexible. People could be locked up without representation, or even actual charges, and it wasn’t enough that they were living here. We brought ‘em over and stashed ‘em where they weren’t subject to the pesky Geneva Convention. Disagreeing with the Federal Government seems to be sufficient cause to get your computer hacked, your mail read, and your phone tapped.

And we take it.

"Extremism in defense of Liberty is no Crime"…Well, yeah…Especially when the extremism is written into law, or the parties involved choose which laws will and will not apply. The U.S. no longer wants to be accountable to the world court in matters of military action, which is understandable since a disproportionate number of US soldiers end up being charged with human rights violations when they’re overseas. The U.S, or US, also doesn’t want to take part in a number of other treaties (missile and others) that are no longer convenient to the Government’s agenda (the excuse given for not signing on to the UN Charter of Human Rights).

And we take it…Most of US aren’t even aware that there is a UN Charter of Human Rights.

Then again none of this should come as a surprise. After all you have an un-elected President in the White House, with an illegal cabinet, all with ties to Big Energy. Oh yeah, and the Supreme Court decided that the right to vote is not guaranteed by the constitution! So you needn’t bother with those troublesome elections anymore because they don’t really count anyway. And besides which we’re at "War", so constitutional legalities are moot anyway…

But we take it.

"Fiddle-dee-dee, War, War, War." It’s an interesting war. It’s not been declared against any specific country, but rather a noun. Terrorism. This means that it can go on until the word is wiped off the face of the Earth, provided that there’s one left by the time it’s done. And because it’s a Word it can conveniently be slapped onto a label and applied with ease to an offending country or organization…Al Qaeda and Earth First, after all, have so much in common.

"Hey!! We’re over there because we were attacked!"

Well, there is that…

… But there is increasing evidence that the powers that be knew it was going to happen and let it. They were just waiting for an excuse. After all, it had been done before. FDR knew about Pearl Harbor and let it happen. US wanted to get in there. There were big stakes involved. Much as there are now. The Energy Boys have been tired of the Foreign Oil problem for a long time, but until they got the Bushes into office there was no way to do it directly. The best way to solve foreign oil dependency is to take over some oil producing countries. Cut out the middle man…Good solid business strategy. The fact that a few hundred thousand people are killed in the process is immaterial…Casualties of War, don’t ya know. The people at the Pentagon and the Twin Towers were just the first sacrificial lambs. And of course the timing couldn’t have been better.

9/11…Emergency…How apropos…Almost sounds like a Madison Ave. Slogan doesn’t it? That had been done too. Those stories about Iraqi soldiers running into hospitals, stealing incubators, and leaving the preemies on the floor to die, during the Gulf War? Never happened. The story was invented by an ad agency to get Americans behind the War effort…

Junior Bush was in Trouble over Enron (again energy). So was Dick Cheney. Since they already had problems over the legitimacy of their occupation of the office, and were now under siege for their questionable dealings while drafting GWB’s energy policy, they needed a distraction. Since a War worked so well for Poppa Bush, why not Junior ?

And before you think that we’ve gone on a Magical Trip into Oliver Stone Land, here are a few things to chew over:

- The Bushes (Jr. and Sr.) have financial ties with the Bin Laden Family that go way back. The only plane that was allowed to leave US airspace on 9/11 was the Bin Laden family private jet.

Osama Bin Laden received CIA training, to fight for the Afghan Resistance against the Soviets, while Bush (Sr.), former CIA director, was Vice President under Ronald Reagan.
The Major Financial contributors to Bush Juniors runs for Governor and President was ENRON
Bush Jr. was an Oil CEO…So was Dick Cheney, whose company was still doing business with Saddam Hussein (#2 Bad Guy with a bullet) even after the embargo…
And this isn’t a fact but something I’ve been curious about. With all the incredible technology available to intelligence agencies (stuff that we’re years away from getting at Radio Shack) plus satellites that are capable of identifying the blood type of a flea on a camels butt…How is it we can never find these Monsters of the month? Hell, Osama a 6’7" diabetic and needs to get dialysis every day and we still can’t seem to find him. Saddam is still around. The Ayatollah died of old age. Khaddafy is still rocking. Is it just that the "intelligence" agencies are mind numbingly incompetent, or is there something else going on. Just wondering…

Even Oliver Stone has real enemies.

But what do I know? I’m just a dislocated Canadian

However things may be looking up. I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said "Well, Democracy was getting OLD anyway…" and below it was a smaller one that said " If you can read this, you are not the President"

Sorry about the rant…But then haven’t you missed those? No…I thought not.

But look at it this way, It’s not like I do this everyday. If yer lucky you might get another one in a year or so…Depending, of course, on your definition of the word "luck"

Love you all and Miss You Lots.

Mike Hiller

PS. This was written in fits and starts so if I’ve repeated my self, Tough Noogies.

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

I have something to admit and it's not pretty, so some of you might want to look away now.
My wife and I are Reality TV Junkies.
I know...I know...I can hear the cries of "Good God! No! Not that!!"

It started innocently enough with the news. But the news wasn't the gateway drug. No, for me it was COPS. Yes there's something about watching a bunch of jackbooted law enforcement officials kicking the crap out of the wretched refuse of society that appeals to the tiny little Republicans that reside within even the most leftward leaning liberal, and God knows I'm one (I call mine "Rumsfeld". He's a screaming fascist little bastard, slightly to the right of Hitler. Much like the real one, I suspect). Michael Moore made the point about how much the show has done for race relations in the country, but there are a bunch of other reasons to love COPS, most of which deal with self-esteem issues. There's the affirmation of looking at other people's hovels and being able to say " Gee, My Apartment doesn't look so bad after all". There's the moral superiority of watching a strung out little junkie being slammed on the hood of a cruiser and thinking that you're probably better than that guy, or at least luckier. And, if nothing else, if you didn't get your white trash fix from Springer this week, here's the rest of 'em. I love it. When it went to an hour on Saturday Nights I positively platzed.

As if that wasn't bad enough, I then moved to the US and was exposed to *gasp* ...*cringe*...*shudder* THE REAL WORLD. God save me.

It's not like it didn't have its antecedents. I had seen the work of Allan King, the Canadian documentarian ( as opposed to the Catskills comedian). He pioneered the trend of having a bunch of cameras following regular folks around just to see what happens in films like " A Married Couple" (for those of you who like your domestic trainwrecks down and dirty) and "Warrendale"(For the nasty group home lovers out there. Sort of an antediluvian Big Brother). But none of that prepared me for the "The Real World" which is, to my mind, the Queen Mother of all that followed. And the Real World begat Road Rules which begat Survivor which begat Big Brother ( and yes I know there were European and Japanese precursors for these shows, but shut up, I'm on a roll) Now voyeurism and eavesdropping were not only acceptable, they were encouraged. My only problem with the show is that I think they should get some more interesting people. The problems of good looking ,self-involved 20 somethings aren't cutting it the way they used to. As the MTV generation ages (the originals are now entering their 40s after all) I think they should start throwing some of them into the mix. Frustrated never wases, and confirmed alcoholics, neurotics, the ugly, the borderline psychotics. Have the 7 strangers be genuinely strange...Now that would be interesting.

Survivor came next. And with that one I dragged Carol down into the gutter with me. We, like many of you out there who are now shaking your head and tsking, became emotionally invested in the outcome. So, when Richard Hatch won, we went berserk. We were depressed. The world was an awful place. The lesson of the show was that if you lied and cheated, you won. It was not just a game but philosophy. Ayn Rand would have loved Survivor. We snorted and fumed and vowed we would never watch the show again...Then there was Survivor 2.

Carol found her own crack show when Big Brother (or as I like to call it, The Sartre Show)debuted. She would be up nights watching the computer feeds, posting the boards, chatting in the chatrooms. And all this was during the first season which has to be acknowledged as being pretty dull. Imagine what was happening around here during the last 2. Ever since Carol has referred to it as her " little show''. She's currently chomping at the bit waiting for Big Brother 4 to hit in June (or July). It's a sad sight, really.

From there it just went downhill. We watched Joe Millionaire and cried. We watched Mr. Personality and cheered when " Dr. Evil" Chris in the Green Mask was vanquished. We even watched "Celebrity Mole'' and ''I'm a Celebrity, Get me Out of Here!!'' though technically they don't qualify. We do have some standards. They're not very high, but we have 'em. We refuse to watch Fear Factor ( more of a game really, but still...Having bugs dumped on someone has too much of a yuck factor to be entertainment in our book). Ditto The Bachelor and only watched the finale of " Married by America". For the record, TV should stop trying to marry people off. It hasn't ever worked since Who wants to marry a Multi-Millionaire'and the trend shows no sign of changing.

Which brings us to American Idol

I have seen the future of Presidential Elections and it is American Idol. I've thought about it and thought about it and I'm convinced that this is the way they should go. Not the Singing Part (unless you really want to humiliate them, which is always an option to keep in mind). You would have a series of competitions between the various Prez Wannabes in stages, with a bunch of smartass judges from all affiliations ( Bill Maher, Dennis Miller, Arianna Huffington, Michael Moore. P.J. O' Rourke, but not, I repeat, not Anne Coulter) . It would be primarily intellectual, although I don't rule out physical competition (it is television, after all). And the Public would actually vote to whittle down the pack until the 3 hour end of Season Spectacular when the "American President" is chosen.
I think it would work.
It should.
More people, after all, voted in American Idol than voted in the last Presidential Election.

Anyhow We watched the show off and on for the months it was on. As a former Theatre director, my favorite part of the show are the early episodes with the bad auditions. which, I assure you, are not exaggerated for dramatic purposes. They are too gruesomely real. We followed it and were crestfallen when Clay, the skinny white Geek, lost to Ruben, the big black geek by so few votes. I personally blame Florida.

But then I got to thinking, as I infrequently do, about a couple of things.

In the 60's The Monkees were damn near crucified for being a manufactured rock /pop band. Now in the''new'' millenium and the era of Backstreet Boys, Britney, and 'N Sync, we have realized the error of our ways and decided that the manufactured pop star is the future of music. This is scary for more reasons than I'll go into.

Then I started to think the nature of the beast and I came to this startling conclusion...

Reality TV is Neither...

It's not reality because the presence of the cameras and mics negates any hope that what you're going to see will be unaffected by their being there. And it's not television in the traditional sense of it being acted and written, even though it's just as artificial and manipulated...

But, let's face it, none of these are new or original insights, nor were they meant to be....

I'm just killing time 'til The Amazing Race 4 starts.

Wednesday, May 21, 2003

I hate it when it does that...
I had a brilliant thing going and then it just vanishes...*poof*
It was funny and well written and you were going to love it, whoever you are.
But I was trying to do too many things at once and it went away...
I'm very sad right now...*sniff*
Maybe I'll try again later...
But it won't be the same...
*sobbing quietly*

Wednesday, May 14, 2003

And how is your day? This is how mine started out..

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)High
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Low
The really sad part of this that My Wife sent it to me and she's on Level 7...However, the way I figure it, things have got to move up from here..I'll bet money on it... Oops...

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

And send it to a friend ...Misery loves company just to see who's doing more suffering and, of course, to keep score...

Friday, May 02, 2003

I'll admit it. I'm a geek. I like comic books, and used to collect them. To me they are the American Versions of the Greek Gods with better fashion sense. With my cards firmly planted on the table as to where I'm coming from I present the following:

How to make a Comic Book Movie

1. See X Men 1 and 2

Not much need be said about X Men 1 except it simply saved the comic book movie franchise after it had been single handedly decimated by Joel Schumacher's (blame where due) abominable Batman and Robin. Warner's is still shaking very badly about that much so that Batman 5 or Batman Year One or Batman 5 which will be directed or not by Darren Aronofsky or not or Chris Nolan or not still doesn't have a start date and it's been 6 years.

X1 took its premise seriously, which was a nice change.but it took the characters seriously, which was an even nicer change (and is precisely the reason that the first 2 Batman were hits and the last 2 were not. If I had heard Schumacher use the phrase "Comic Book Movie" one more time , I would have hunted him down and peed on him. Batman Forever and Batman and Robin were not "comic book movies" because most comic books are better written than those 2 piles of excrement.(See The Dark Night Returns if you doubt me).

The characters in X Men were self aware, flawed but did not take them selves too seriously, which is the mark of good writing. And it
had the perfect cast. Hugh Jackman was the luckiest accident a movie ever had. And I'm betting Dougray Scott is still kicking himself (or wanting to kick Tom Cruise in the nuts) for staying with Mission Impossible 2. Ian MacKellen can do no wrong, and Patrick Stewart just is Professor X.

Anyway in X Men 2 (I refuse to call it X Men United. If you see the movie you will understand why) we open at the White House and a mysterious figure is hanging out pretending to follow the tour...
The Mysterious figure separates himself from said tour and, when challenged by a security agent, the mysterious figure reveals himself to have a bifurgated tail and bears more than a passing resemblance to the Devil. Only blue...
All hell breaks loose as the CIA Agents try to protect the President (Not GWB) and The blue devil looking guy (Nightcrawler) makes fools of them by teleporting in and out and attacking as he does so until it's just him and the Prez, whom he lands on top of and drives a knife into the desk just beside the Prexy's head. The Knife has a red ribbon on it that reads Mutant Liberation...

This is the first 5 minutes of the movie...

Freed of the expository nature of any first film in a series, X2 takes off from there. There is more action in this outing, but they don't forget the human element. The promise of Xavier's line form the end of the first film " I feel a great surge of pity for whomever comes to that school looking for trouble" is more than fulfilled. Whomever turns out to be an entire army...
I'm not going to spoil it for you. Nor give away anything else.

However, I will admit that I found the ending anticlimactic...and the sequel holes are everywhere.

But the writing remains crisp. The jokes work. And there are some genuinely touching moments.
Not bad for a "Comic Book Movie". I give it a B+. The movie is everything the first hour of Spiderman promised, yet didn't deliver.

How NOT to make a Comic Book Movie
I suspect we'll be finding that out when " The Hulk " opens in June. The first preview I saw , where you only got hints at what the CGI Emerald Goliath would look like got audible giggles prior to the screening of Daredevil I saw (Promising beginning, weak middle, No ending...and over all a tad too reminiscent of Tim Burton's too many "in" jokes). The promo they're running with X2 is far more detailed, and shows us a lot more of the Computer Generated not so jolly Green Giant. And it looks like crap with a capital crap. CGI when done well is a wonder and adds to the movie ( Jurassic Park, Shrek, The Phantom Menace, Lord of the Rings). Done badly it's an eyesore (Kangaroo Jack, Certain shots in Spiderman, Jimmy Neutron) From what i saw of the Hulk, it falls into the later category. The preview this time was met with stunned silence. The Problem as I see it is They didn't want a guy in a rubber suit because it always looks like a guy wearing a rubber suit(sorry Lou), so what they did was spend millions and millions of dollars to create the look of a Cartoon who's wearing a rubber suit...And yesterday I noticed that not only is it gonna tank..Several Corporations already locked into tie-ins are going down with it too...My favourite example I found in Ralph's the other day...Hershey's Chocolat Syrup...only it was Green...It still tasted like chocolate (presumably...I wasn't gonna buy any) but it had been Hulkified!!

Clue: It's always a bad sign when the merchandise for a movie hits the stores waaay before the Movie opens...The Hulk stuff has been out for about a month already and the movie doesn't open 'til June 2O

I can't wait!!!!

On the whole, a pleasant afternoon at the cinema...were it not for the mental midget in the backrow who felt the need to anounce every characters name when ever they appeared or did something he approved of....
I've decided to see the Matrix Sequels when they're both out on DVD.
I don't think I could sit through 3 hours of "YO NEO, You da man, Dog!!" .

If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done Peter Ustinov

Wednesday, April 30, 2003

Let's talk about procrastination...
Wait a minute...*fixes breakfast, checks email, eats breakfast, chats*
Now, where were we?
Oh yeah, procrastination...Hang on a sec...*goes to the john, takes an Advil™, changes discs in CD player*
Now, Procrastination *adjusts chair, blows nose, gets drink, adjusts chair again, changes lightbulb*
As I was about to say I am very good at *makes a phone call, plays with the cats, watches Judge Mathis*
I fact I wrote a song about it. Goes like this...


Verse 1

I’ll get around to

Writing that novel

Making that sculpture

Planting that tree

And I’ll get around to

Taking that walk or

Drawing that picture

Looking for me

Verse 2

I’ll get around to

Loving my neighbor

Helping the homeless

Making a plan

And I’ll get around to

Saving the union

Climbing up Everest

Giving a damn…



Short Attention Span

What’s that fly doing on the wall?

Putting off today

Until tomorrow comes

If tomorrow comes at all


I’d be a wonderful guy with my act all together

Getting all of my ducks in a row

But thus far I haven’t run out of excuses

Yet someday somehow I know


Verse 3

I’ll get around to…

Sending that letter

Treating dogs better

Giving up meat

I’ll get around to…

Paying the phone bill

Taking that chill pill

Trying to be sweet

Verse 4

And I’ll get around to…

Lifting my head up

Finding my Get Up

Righting that wrong

I’ll get around to…

Picking the pace up

Cleaning my place up

Ending this …

(c) 2002 Mykiller Songs

...and one of these days I'll get around to putting music to it.

" It's Now or Never..."-Elvis

Monday, April 28, 2003

I had something to say about Art today, but I think I lost it.
My Art that is.
I used to function in several of the arts with varying degrees of skill. I've acted in and directed many plays and even written a few. I draw, have even had a couple of my cartoons published and designed a cd package for a prominent folk singer.
But for some reason I can't seem to do it anymore. Or at least finish it....Oh I've started a bunch of things which eventually go nowhere. Plays, screenplays, paintings ( I will confess here and now that I am a lousy painter.) they sit in limbo waiting for me to spare them some attention, which I have little to no desire to do.
I think it's because of the book.
I wrote a book,see, and it took about a year to do. And I think it's pretty good. My wife thinks it's great. Other people who've read it think it's great and has potential to be a movie.
However nobody in the publishing industry wants a damn thing to do with it. Agents, publishers ...Anybody who could make this little tome of mine see the light of day wants nothing to do with it. And I think that that's a darn shame.
Do I sound bitter? Oops...
I don't think I have any pretensions about the material. It's not literature. It's not a work of staggering genius. It's just an entertaining story about a bunch of kids in 1952 who end up inadvertantly thwarting a real Communist plot while emulating their favorite movie serial heroes. It's called The Great Heroes League, and I am rather proud of it.
But you will probably never get to read it. And that's too bad.
Maybe it's a bad book. I may be kidding myself. My wife could be kidding me. So could all the others who've read it. Maybe it stinks on ice, and people are afraid to tell me.
Anyway, ever since I've finished it , and the rewrites. I got the creative equivalent of nothing.
Oh sure, there have been extenuating circumstances for the past year, but I've had bad times before and been able to do my stuff.
I think the colossal indifference might have something to do with it, but I don't care...
Yes I know.
Bad Joke
Okay...I've done whining. For now.
But remember, Support the Arts!
And if you can't support the Arts, how about supporting the Artist...I'm not proud..How about it..? Spare change ?

" This is not a book to be tossed aside lightly. It should be hurled with great force"- Dorothy Parker

Thursday, April 24, 2003

Another day , Another Internet fad that starts out free and ends up costing money...Oh well, since I'm ever one to jump on a bandwagon, here goes nothing...Literally. This will likely just turn out to be just another of my well-intentioned exercises in journal keeping which will end up abandoned due to boredom or short attention span. I have dozens of blank books that I purchased with the purest of intentions. And all of them start with expressions of dedication to journal writing, and how I will faithfully write everyday to keep a record of my adventures and thoughts. And every one of them ends after about 3 entries. So why am I trying again? Beats the hell out of me.
What compells me to think that the rest of the world gives a good long crap about what I had for breakfast, or what I think about anything? Ego or Insecurity? And aren't they the same thing? Our way of saying, "Look Everyone, I'm Dancing!!!"
Or maybe I'm just being cynical...
...that or I've had too much caffeine
I had a lot more fascinating stuff to say here and in fact wrote it down, but ,thanks to the vagaries of the internet, the whole thing disappeared as soon as I hit publish...Too Bad, too. Some of it was really good stuff. Unfortunately as I age , my short term memory is going so I can't remember any of it, but trust me you would have laughed.
So anyway here it is, for good or ill. I can't promise to write everyday, but I'll try to when I think I have something interest to say, or if I've had a nice breakfast. Anyway I don't intend for this to be a diary. I don't know what I intend it to be. But if anybody happens to be reading it and don't see anything new for awhile, don't panic. I either don't have anything I wish to pass on at the moment, or I've grown bored with the whole enterprise, or I've found a new fad.
Now that we understand the ground rules, Onward...
This morning I had Lucky Charms for breakfast. You?

For Next Time: Reality TV is neither. Discuss. Not too Heatedly.

"Ninety per cent of Everything is Crap" - Sturgeons Law